woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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