Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
