how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
