we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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