Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
