Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
