Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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