Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
