I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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