the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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