Where did you get a picture of my penis
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
