Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I checked into jail on foursquare
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
