would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
