Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
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