Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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