ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
