I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
