I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
