just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
