Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
