home. puking in laundry basket.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
