maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
