If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
