I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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