She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
