Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
