Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
