i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
