I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
love makes seman taste better
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
