Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
