she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
