I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
