Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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