me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
