At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
