fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Hippo gnu deer
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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