She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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