He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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