Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
