Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
