Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
