you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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