It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I am naked and annoyed.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
