tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
