if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
