you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
