just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
