We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
