so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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