Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
